other’s Day is the busiest day of the year in the restaurant industry. The customers come in hordes and beat us all day. It’s awful. I got in yesterday at three, to discover a staff-full of bedraggled, tired, crabby people, blank and wide-eyed with the horror of the business, the restaurant trashed, everything empty and [...]

     urrent desktop wallpaper: –>
     This three hundred and fifty pound woman shows up at a run-down circus, looking for a job as a flying trapeze artist. The incredulous ringmaster gives her an audition, and is so impressed he tells her she’s hired. There’s one condition: she goes on last. On opening night, the other acts are [...]

he liquor store advertised, ‘We De-Liver.’ I can’t recall the last time I did any running, but I’ve been jogging my memory.
A cheese manufacturer located on the coastline was called Ocean Bries.
The golfer guessed that his ball landed 20 feet off the fairway. Of course, that was just a rough estimate.
When she made Mario Puzo’s [...]

     t was a dull, dreary day in the town of Four Corners. The dullness was on account of the fact that Four Corners had acquired itself seven peacekeepers. Whereas previously to the arrival of the ‘Magnificent Seven’ rowdies tended to congregate in the small town, nowadays rabble-rousers tended to give Four Corners a wide berth. [...]

ou should always use basil the day you buy it - as they say, herb today, gone tomorrow.
I don’t field like football today, and besides, baseball is a batter game!
When I treated my friends to lunch at the Mexican fast food restaurant I had to pay the taco bill.
Did you hear about the pig who [...]

     n ancient Babylonian general was once involved in a plot to overthrow the king. His plot included a number of followers in the upper ranks of the army. However, his plot was uncovered, and the king threw him in jail. The king sentenced him to death without a trial.
     From the jail, he was able to [...]

     wo hunters were sitting in a tavern, arguing about who was the better hunter. They decided to bet a tall glass of beer each that they could kill and return with a killing first.
     One took up his hunting rifle and went out, and the other got into a fighter plane, found a lion, and killed [...]

     he filthy plague-dog customers at work have gifted me with yet another January cold, and I feel like death warmed over. I’ve also been writing a lot. So, here are a few one-liners on the topic of doctors. Enjoy. A real entry will be forthcoming as soon as I don’t feel like a wet, mildewy [...]

     t’s currently about 60 degrees out, and pouring rain. That’s Michigan for you.
     Meanwhile, Iranians threatened U.S. ships in Hormuz: Pentagon:
     Five Iranian boats made aggressive maneuvers and showed hostile intent towards three U.S. Navy ships at the weekend in the Strait of Hormuz, a major oil shipping route in the Gulf, the Pentagon said on Monday.
     The [...]

     ‘ve actually devoted a considerable amount of time to writing these last few days. I may be cooking up a story idea — I’m not sure yet. It’s kind of like having someone drop you an anonymous, beautifully-wrapped present. You go, “Oooh, shiny. I wonder what’s in there!” and you poke at it and prod [...]