700 Billion Dollars
So, I oopsed. Yeah, that 700 billion dollar bail out that passed? It didn’t pass. I plead lack of coffee. The House told the bail-out bill to go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut, and the stock market took a head dive, finishing up for the day 700+ points in the hole, and when I arrived at work, it was a very quiet panic zone. No one was running around screaming or anything, but people were quiet and tense, and I don’t think I waited on one customer who didn’t make at least some mention of it. Some nervous little joke, or asking what all I’d seen on the news (because, of course, I’m running a restaurant, so all I have to do all day is stand around and watch the TVs), or tsking sadly away over the affair. I spent a lot of today smiling brightly and assuring people, “Oh, I’m sure it’ll be fine. They’ll figure something out.”
I mean, ladies and gentlemen, when you’re looking to me to be your hopeful little ray of sunshine, you are deep in the shit. Seriously, y’all.
I also spent a fair amount of time today explaining, in simple terms, how we got into this mess, and roughly what the bail out might have meant. Guys. When I have to explain the economics to you, you are also deep in the shit. I mean, I barely know what I’m talking about. I’m just bright enough on the economic front to have a rough idea of who it’s safe to parrot.
Quite a lot of us are going to be unaffected — at least in the short term — by this event. By way of example — me: I have no stocks. Wall Street can plunge straight through to the chewy nougat center of the Earth, and I’m not going to lose a dime. I have no savings. Close all the banks you want, I won’t be getting any more broke. I do have a little debt, so if somehow during the pending economic collapse, the bank could manage to lose track of that, it wouldn’t hurt my feelings any. Of course, I might not be able to get any other loans or credit cards in the meantime, due to their not being any extra credit floating around for the likes of us, but hey, the last thing I need to be doing anyway is piling up more debt.
So, as long as the rest of you sheep and monkeys don’t panic, IE, pull all your money out of the banks in a fizzy freak-out A La the 1930’s, and/or stop going out to eat occasionally (so I can keep my job), me, and a lot of other people, will probably be okay. As I explained to one employee, hey, we’re already dirt fucking broke. You can’t get any more dirt fucking broke.
On the other hand, as I explained to another employee, that 700 billion dollars would have had to come from somewhere. Do you think it was going to get paid back to the government by Wall Street when they started making money again? You did? Are you dumb? Of course it isn’t. It’ll get paid back by you and me, in the form of higher taxes. Because, you know, me and you can afford to pay more taxes.
And besides, it’s really all moot point anyway, because the Bushies did an end-run around the failed bill anyways. Yes. They did. Please don’t tell me you’re surprised. I walked in the door at work, heard the news, and said to all and sundry, “I wonder how Bush is going to swipe the money anyways? Because you know he will.” I have witnesses.
(Photo credit: DownTownExpress.com.)
September 30th, 2008 at 10:48 am
OMG!!! My money!! My stock was worth at least.. 100 bucks?
Oh well.
I didn’t buy it in the first place, it’s stuff that grandpa left us.
I think I’ve got like 4 shares.
Anywho, that’s pretty funny, the whole country is going into financial collapse and us in Michigan are like “big deal” Cause we’re used to it by now!!!!
September 30th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
They nabbed 630 billion dollars by, essentially, deliberately devaluing the dollar.
Wow, clever.
And they did it before congress voted. Probably counting on the bailout to pass. And now, here we are. It didn’t pass, and we’ve gone ahead and made the problem worse in order to supply yet another short-term fix.
Will somebody please tranq those guys before we’re all royally screwed?
JavaElemental Reply:
September 30th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
Re: Royally Screwed:
Too late.
Well maybe not. I mean, the Senate might pass a bail-out tomorrow. Maybe.