Mother’s Day & Punday Night
other’s Day is the busiest day of the year in the restaurant industry. The customers come in hordes and beat us all day. It’s awful. I got in yesterday at three, to discover a staff-full of bedraggled, tired, crabby people, blank and wide-eyed with the horror of the business, the restaurant trashed, everything empty and filthy . . . it’s like walking into the aftermath of a bombing.
The girls were all fairly pleased, though. Most of them had made near $200, and that makes up for a lot of misery. I went on to take an ass-beating of my own on second shift. I was short-staffed, because they’d stolen all my extra staff for day shift, and by six in the evening, we were out of food. No, really. We were out of stuff for our Mexican meals, out of the special, out of the basics like lettuce, vegetables, etc — we were out of fucking food. I was starting to wonder if we were going to have to shut down, due to not having anything to serve! By the end of the night, I felt like someone had pitched me down a flight of stairs and then raced down to beat me with a stick at the bottom. I got home, crawled up the stairs, crashed in front of the computer, Stumbled for a bit, mindless and thoughtless, before staggering off to bed to pass out. Man, it was rough.
A lady awoke one morning and discovered her dog was not moving. She called her vet who asked her to bring the dog in. After a brief examination, the vet pronounced the dog dead. “Are you sure?” The distraught woman asked. “He was a great family pet. Isn’t there anything else you can do?”
The vet paused for a moment and said, “There is one more thing we can do.” He left the room for a moment and came back carrying a large cage with a cat in it. The vet opened the cage door and the cat walked over to the dog. The cat sniffed the dog from head to toe and walked back to the cage. “Well, that confirms it.” The vet announced. “Your dog is dead.”
Satisfied that the vet had done everything he possibly could, the woman sighed, “How much do I owe you?”
”That will be $330.” The vet replied.
”I don’t believe it!” Exclaimed the woman. “What did you do that cost $330!?
”Well,” the vet replied, “It’s $30 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan.”
(Pun: Pun of the Day.)
