Yet Another Squatch Rant
ello again folks. It’s the Squatch, letting you crazy kids have another dose of vitriol, bile, candy and unicorns.
I know we all have pet peeves. We all have a few things that just make us nutty, and left with a desire to quietly explode. I nurture mine. Feed them regularly, water them, long walks, belly rubs. All of it. My biggest one is, without a doubt, hypocrisy. It’s arrogance, hatred, and “holier-than-thou”, all rolled into one. The trouble with it, aside from the obvious, is that we all are all guilty of it, all the time.
Take China, for instance. It’s easy for us to sit on our collective asses, and grumble disapprovingly of the douchebaggery they pull on Tibet, and the entirety of human rights in general. Meanwhile, in our country, we have to put an athlete carrying a symbol of peace in an armored bus to protect him from an angry mob. At the same time, we wage a war on a third world Muslim nation, with a death-toll hovering around 200,000. So it seems my people are just as stump-raping stupid as everyone else’s, and we’re all such hypocrites we think our own ass smells like sunshine and fabric softener.
Here’s another thought:
I’m going to hope Barack Obama gets the nomination, so I can vote for him. I’m gonna join the “Change Bandwagon”, and march proudly to the polls to vote in the first black POTUS which will be a fine moment in our nations history. We could use a few good moments in our recent history! I will do this, so in another 8 years, when he doesn’t deliver upon his promises of change, I can hate his fuggin’ guts. Perish the thought of actually having a president who did a good job and turned out to be a half-way decent guy. I’m thinking thats probably a sign of the apocalypse. I say we elect the guy, and when he is unable to drag us out of the shit-storm we’re brewing, we blame him for everything we blame Bush for, except that Bush really IS a giant douche, and deserves whatever negativity we can summon.
What’s the point of all that you ask? Well, see, the guy deserves the same respect we give all of our leaders, even Jimmy Carter.
Speaking of which, I figure that if recent talks between Israel and Palestine don’t pan out, and they keep on killing each other, then, that’s it. We got nothin’ left. We sent Jimmy Carter. He’s our “Ace-in-the-Hole”, if you will. We send the president and his evil henchmen who amuse the locals by biting the heads of off various livestock, and draining their life-fluids, and when all else fails, we send Jimmy Carter. Former president, maker of homes for the homeless, Nobel Peace Prize winning, all-around nice-guy, and grower of many a peanut. If that doesn’t work . . . nothing will, and there’s nothing left to do but watch them kill each other. Dammit people, peanuts! Who doesn’t like peanut butter?!
In order for those two groups to get along, Israel needs to agree to a Palestinian state. You know, just make up a nation, and everyone agree it’s real and not imaginary. Sort of like, um . . . Isreal. (See: May 14, 1948.) Once again, it’s all hypocrisy. “We can declare a nation, but you can’t cuz um . . . well, because, that’s why!” If you two can’t kill each other nicely, I’ll separate you, and you won’t bomb each other at all.
All for now,
-The Squatch
