Punday Night, and Tall Tale Tuesday
The weather here in Michigan has been crappy of late — rain, rain, and more rain. It’s playing merry hell with my sinuses, and making me want to slip into a coma. Which is why there were no puns yesterday –> I was largely unconcious until it was time to go to work. But! We could have puns now. And so, we shall.
From Pun of the Day:
When kissing flowers, tulips are better than one.
Hangmen always keep their customers in the loop.
A man used money that he had inherited from his late father and put an addition on his house. It was an heir extension.
This pun seams to be tailored for tailors because it always has them in stitches.
Roanoke - that’s where wooden oars are made.
Before a mother knows the sex of her baby it’s a hidden agender.
The inept mathematician couldn’t count on his friends.
Of course, I’m not the only one in the house who’s sleeping extra due to the rainy, cool weather. The dogs have been out cold much of the time, as have Artavatar and MrJames. It’s making working something of a trick.
In other news, “categories” are largely functional again, although they’re in alphabetical order instead of chronological. Too much of a pain in the ass to keep them in order by date.
Michigan Winds
Retold by
S. E. Schlosser
Michigan winds are fiercest in the spring. Why, just last year, the wind knocked one of our mountains over into a valley. Folks woke up the next day to find themselves living on a plain.
But we Michigan folk just take these happenings as a matter of course. Take my friend Joe, for example. One March, Joe went out onto his porch to eat dessert. He had barely taken a bite out of his fresh apple pie when a wind blew his house over. Keeping his presence of mind, Joe grabbed hold of the branch of a tree to keep from being blown away. Once he had secured himself on the branch, he nabbed one of the boards floating away from his house, and used it to shield him from the wind so he could finish eating his apple pie.
‘Course, I’ve heard they also get a pretty mean wind when you cross the border into Canada. There’s a story I know about a British Columbia chap named Jake whose dog was blown up against his garage wall one day. That wind blew so hard and so strong that the hound dog starved to death before it quit. Jake had to scrape the poor old dog off the wall with a shovel. And what did he find but that the wind had pushed the hound’s shadow right into surface of the wall. So Jake buried the poor dog under the shadow and wrote his epitaph on it: Doggone.
What the hell. Since we missed riddles last week, have one of those, too. A farmer and his hired help were carrying grain to the barn. The farmer carried one sack of grain and the hired help carried two sacks. Who carried the heavier load and why? Highlight for the Answer: The farmer’s load was heavier. His hired help only carried two sacks, while the farmer carries one sack, but his sack is a sack of grain. The hired help only carried 2 sacks - both empty.
