Lovin’ It Like McDonalds
Now, we’ve caught Bush and his administration stone cold lying. No, seriously: “Bush Was Set on Path to War, British Memo Says” (NYT 3-27-06 Don Van Natta JR). We got him. Carved in stone tablets, practically.
So. Um, don’t we get to have a trial-type-thingie now? I mean, we impeached Clinton over a blow job, and, as a general rule, BJs don’t get anyone killed. Wars do. In fact, this particular war has gotten lots of people killed.
(Okay, okay, technically we impeached Clinton for lying to us about a blow job. Satisfied?)
Let’s do a quick run-down, for those of you joining us mid-way through the program. First, we have some terrorism. The Clinton Admin notices the terrorism, and repeatedly attempts to nail Osama for something, anything. They try arresting him, they finally try killing him. No-go, the guy’s got the luck of the Irish. (Odd, for a Saudi.)
Clinton and his boys run out of time, and turn things over to Bush, who just got appointed President of the US by the Supreme Court, after shenanigans in Florida. We’re pretty sure he cheated, but Gore pusses out on us — big surprise there, huh? — and the SCotUS puts Bush in. Certainly not because Bush’s daddy’s SCotUS cronyism, or anything like that. I mean, everyone loves a frat-boy cokehead drunken Harvard failure who ran everything he touched out of business — definitely just the person to put in charge of the US. My first choice, I know.
So, the Bush Admin takes over, and all of Clinton’s left-over boys immediately commence to warning Preznit Bush about this terrorism business. In fact, there’s a particular little memo that even says something, like, oh, I don’t quite remember, “Osama bin Ladin Planning on Flying Fucking Planes into the Twin Towers, Dipshit”, or something like that. Look it up for yourself. Google is our friend. Don’t include “dipshit”, or you’re going to get some really funky hits on Google.
So, Preznit Bush and his Old Skool Homies from Daddy’s Admin ignore Clinton’s boys, and, seeings as getting appointed was such an arduous task, go on a year-long vacation. Well, Bush does. His Administration sticks mostly to home, drumming up support for the war in Iraq they were apparently hoping to kick off ASAP:
But behind closed doors, the president was certain that war was inevitable. During a private two-hour meeting in the Oval Office on Jan. 31, 2003, he made clear to Prime Minister Tony Blair of Britain that he was determined to invade Iraq without the second resolution, or even if international arms inspectors failed to find unconventional weapons, said a confidential memo about the meeting written by Mr. Blair’s top foreign policy adviser and reviewed by The New York Times.
–snippy–
The memo also shows that the president and the prime minister acknowledged that no unconventional weapons had been found inside Iraq. Faced with the possibility of not finding any before the planned invasion, Mr. Bush talked about several ways to provoke a confrontation, including a proposal to paint a United States surveillance plane in the colors of the United Nations in hopes of drawing fire, or assassinating Mr. Hussein.
Okay, the memo was in 2003, 9/11 happened in ‘01, but you don’t really think they suddenly thought of this two year later, do you? C’mon, now. In his book, Against All Enemies, Richard Clarke states that BushCo was gearing up for war in Iraq right from the get-go. The Towers came down, and Bush and Cheney immediately said to Clarke and his bunch, “Find me proof that Hussein did it.”
“But, uh, ” Said Clarke and company, “they didn’t. In fact, we checked that, and we have this metric shit-ton of evidence that says Iraq didn’t have anything to do with it. Now, this Osama bin Ladin guy, him we can nail.”
“Pish-posh,” said the Bush Administration. “We don’t want to hear your petty ‘facts’. Find (or manufacture) a link to Iraq.”
All of which eventually resulting in Clarke and his bunch telling BushCo, “Y’know what? Blow me. I’m outta here.” Which left the way clear for BushCo to get their stuff done without anyone touting these “facts”.
Anyhoo, we head into Afghanistan, after the evil Taliban, which apparently wasn’t so evil back when Bush was brokering oil deals with them in Texas. We go after the Taliban, sending, like, ten really pissy guys with guns into Afghanistan to get rid of the Taliban and find Osama. Sadly, these ten guys can’t quite manage either, as we never found hide nor hair of Osama, a six-and-a-half-foot-tall jaundiced Arabic dragging a dialysis machine around behind him through the Afghani caves, and a bunch of the Taliban got away, too.
But that’s okay! Because we freed Afghanistan! Sort of. And put Karzai, an old guy who looked pretty sharp in a fez, in charge. But not really, because all those warlords are really crimping Karzai’s style. But never mind those! Because Iraq really did 9/11, and we’re going after ‘em, dammit!
Now, when BushCo went on tv with this Iraq business, even I, a lowly restaurant supervisor, who never paid much attention to politics, went, “WTF? Pull the other one! It’s got bells on!”
But, BushCo said, “9/11! WMD! Get ‘em, boys!” And sent the entire mighty US war machine into battle, despite several million people around the world going, “Um, no. Bad plan, that.”
Meanwhile, Hussein was going, “Um, Mr. President? We didn’t have anything to do with 9/11, and we can barely feed ourselves, let alone build nukes. We used up all the poisonous gas bombs you sent us. Really, we did.”
BushCo retorted with, “You harbored Osama!”
And Hussein came back with, “Yeah, for, like, ten minutes. Hello, secular state, here? Osama wants a strict Muslim regime? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?”
“Fuck it! Bomb them!” Said BushCo, and so we did. We bombed them but good. ‘Course, they never did anything to us, but you don’t want to let semantics like that stop you when you’ve got bombs burning holes in your pockets.
So, you know, we’ve been bombing the shit out of the Iraqis for a couple of years, now, and we’re all enjoying a marvelous economy, low gas prices, and excessive amounts of safety from terrorism because of that. Oh, and the world just loves the shit out of us for being big, tough heroes like we are. And, the Iraqis are free like whoa, and safe, and enjoying their ten minutes of electrical power a day and ten-mile-long gas lines and all that. They’re just lovin’ it like McDonalds.
The thing that really bugs me about all of this is that we’ve got the Bush administration stone cold solid on all of this. We know they lied, we have paper proof. And we’re still letting him get away with it. Hell, people are still supporting and apologizing for the guy. Meanwhile, at home, he’s flushed our economy down the toilet, decimated our educational system, kowtowed to the Krazy Kristian Konservatives so much that we are edging perilously closer to our own Christian version of the Taliban, dealt sever blows to science in order to uphold his “morals” . . . c’mon. This guy and his administration is killing us. And we’re letting him do it.
