Happy Holidays, Goddammit, Whether You Want ‘Em Or Not.
Part of my job at the Restaurant Where I Work(TM) is Christmas decorating, and there’s a lot of it to do. It’s a pretty big restaurant, two rooms. This year, knowing that it was pretty much only going to be Jamie and I doing it (and whatever random tall person from the kitchen that I could get to help hang lights), I started the job the day after Thanksgiving.
Tonight, I put up the Christmas tree. Putting up the tree is almost a four-hour job for me. It’s a big tree, and I want it to look good, because hundreds of people are going to see it all month long.
Several times, while I putting up the tree, customers made a point of asking me, “Is that a Christmas tree, or a Holiday tree?”
“It’s a Christmas tree.” I responded each time. “Oh, good.” The customers would say, and then meander off on some half-assed whinejob about how the dirty liberal atheists are making Christmas illegal, or whatever tripe O’Reilly and Rush are spewing this month. This tangent usually involves at least a mention of Target’s Evil Corporate Policy® of saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”.
“I usually say ‘Happy Holidays’.” I told the various customers. “I don’t know what holiday you’re celebrating.” I pointed out to them. As I told one couple, “Jewish folks deserve to have a happy holiday, too.”
I positively dread the coming weeks of innocently wishing people a happy holiday, and getting my ass chewed for it, because I just know it will happen. My lil’ home city is just too white, Christian, conservative, and Limbaugh-lovin’. I’m gonna get my ass chewed, you mark my words.
The “War on Christmas”. Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh are apparently doing a riff on this. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s bullshit. Nativity scenes in front of court houses? Shouldn’t be there. If we aren’t going to let that one whackjob judge who’s name I can’t remember at the moment have his Ten Commandments in his court house, then we can’t allow Christian Nativity scenes, either. It’s just that simple. Instead, how about a nice, secular holiday display, with Santa and some reindeer, and some lights, and a big neon “Happy Holidays, Folks!” sign? I’m fine with that. You want a Nativity scene? Put a big, huge honkin’ one up in your front yard. I’m cool with that, too. Your yard, you display whatever you want. And frankly, at this point, I think we can all call a Christmas tree “secular”, and move on with our lives. Christians didn’t invent the Christmas tree, they stole the idea from some dirty heathens they conquered.
And you militant atheists out there, who are bitching about all the Jebus all over the place? While I understand and sympathize, me not being big on the Jebus myself, could you just get off it? You don’t want to believe in a god, fine. Cool. I waffle on the issue, myself. You don’t want to say “one nation under God”, then don’t. Skip it. No one but assholes really give a shit either way. If they pester you about skipping over the god stuff, then chances are, they’re an asshole, and no one cares what assholes have to say. Some goes for any religious stuff you encounter during December. Just skip it. And you religious folks? If someone opts out, could you just fucking let them? Go ahead and be quietly smug over the fact that they’ll be burning in hell, and you won’t, and leave them alone about it.
Basically, all y’all leave each other alone, and we’ll all act like reasonable adults over the situation, and we’ll all have a happy holiday season.
This holiday season is about love and giving. It’s about peace on Earth and goodwill towards men and women, of any color or religion or political persuasion or sexual orientation or whatever the case may be. Getting pissy over terminology and separation of Church and State is a travesty of the sentiment. And frankly, all of us reasonable, normal folks, of whatever religion, color, etc, are getting good and goddamn tired of listening to all the bitching. We just want to buy our presents, bake our cookies, and veg out in front of the TV watching The Nightmare Before Christmas.
G’night, folks, and happy holidays.
