ne of the main arguments I hear a lot of creationists make is that “evolution is only a theory, it’s not fact”. Well, that is actually true. It’s the theory of evolution. The problem is that, in common vernacular, the language you and I use on the street everyday, “theory” means, roughly, a guess. That is not what the word means in science. Let’s consult a dictionary.

     From Dictionary.com:
     1. Theory, hypothesis are used in non-technical contexts to mean an untested idea or opinion. A theory in technical use is a more or less verified or established explanation accounting for known facts or phenomena: the theory of relativity. A hypothesis is a conjecture put forth as a possible explanation of phenomena or relations, which serves as a basis of argument or experimentation to reach the truth: This idea is only a hypothesis.

     In science, a “theory” is an explanation of phenomena that has been so thoroughly tested and proven that it’s no longer up for debate. It’s the excepted, proven explanation that tests true again and again. So, when someone says “the theory of evolution”, what you should actually be hearing is, “the fact of evolution”.
     There’s a certain sect of fundies out there who are absolutely desperate to take control of how the rest of us think and feel. These fundies are frightened, ignorant people who can’t face life head on, and they are maniacally trying to change facts, sugar coat the world into something they can deal with. They can’t stand that such things as abortion, homosexuality, liberated women, or evolution exist. They want to destroy these things because they’re terrified of the world, and they think that by destroying these things, they can somehow remake the world into a place that is full of nothing but goodness and light and candy canes.
     These nutjobs don’t come from one particular religion. Every religion has their taste of them. They don’t come in one particular strength, either. There are Nutjob Lites out there, too, people who are okay with one or two things, but totally against another one or two.
     Homosexuality has existed for probably as long as animals have. People have been performing herbal abortions and surgical abortions for centuries. Even before that, people were just up and leaving their babies out to die of predation and/or exposure for various reasons. Societies existed centuries ago where woman had rights and votes and power. Evolution happened. Crossing your fingers, holding your breath, and wishing real hard are not going to make these things go away.
     The world is an ugly, scary place, sometimes, and a lot of the problems we face are difficult problems to solve. But, ignoring these problems, oppressing people, and lying about solid science doesn’t solve anything. The way to make the world a better place is to become more educated, more enlightened, not less so.
     Stop oppression. Stop believing in fairy tales. Stop obsessing over when life starts and understand that sometimes, some pregnancies have to end. Give us easy access tot he means to prevent those pregnancies in the first place. Let us learn the truth of the way the world works, and make our own choices in religion. Look the world head on and understand that while it’s not all pretty, willingness to look at the ugly bits and work to make them better is what will solve these problems, not fairy tales and boot heels.

     ombie Alert! — Rural Kanpur is fighting its most frightening scourge — a mystery disease that has left a long line of bodies in its trail and doesn’t seem anywhere finished. *
     Jon Stewart: Rocks My World — In a breakfast with reporters, Stewart directed most of his ire at the 24-hour cable news networks, which he called “gerbil wheels,” and said the media at-large had “abdicated” to what he called the “slow-witted beast.”
     Important! Shennanigans Alert! Let’s Help the AFA! *nudge, wink* — Apparently, the Hallmark Cards people have issued a new line of cards — congratulating same-sex couples on their marriages, and sympathy cards for gay people who are just coming out. The AFA, fine people that they are, have started the snappy website, linked above, providing helpful news about this abomination, including links to mail and email Hallmark. Y’know, so you can protest these awful cards.
     Wouldn’t it be just terrible for the AFA if a bunch of internet hooligans usurped their website to send letters of support and encouragement to Hallmark for their progressive cards? That would be such a sad occurrence. *hint, hint* **
     Wasn’t I just mentioning abortion and birth control? Yeah, I was. Here’s a cartoon about it. Amusing.
     More About Joe Biden — While there is still a lot of research to be done on this, here are five areas that Senator Joe Biden could help Barack Obama in as they begin their fight to defeat John McCain.
     And finally, this, because the little dance the Joker does amuses me vastly, and fuck knows we could all use a little of that.

     * They claim it’s malaria, but don’t let them fool you. It’s zombies!
     ** Apparently we were too slow to get in on the fun of emailing Hallmark from the AFA’s website. Dammit. But, you should still email Hallmark, or hell, call ‘em, and tell them you support their new cards. Don’t let the fundies win, man! Click Here for Hallmark’s Contact Information.

     onestly, some days I don’t know why I bother voting.

     For years, Diebold has embarrassed itself by claiming that obvious faults were actually not faults at all, and during the past decade or so, it mastered the act of pointing the finger. Now that it has ironically renamed itself Premier Election Solutions, it’s finally coming clean. According to spokesman Chris Riggall, a “critical programming error that can cause votes to be dropped while being electronically transferred from memory cards to a central tallying point” has been part of the software for ten years. (Source.)

     For more information on the joke that is electronic voting, check out BlackBoxVoting.com and BlackBoxVoting.org, two unrelated sites that track the unbelievably hackable e-voting systems.

     nd now, a post with some actual substance:

     In recent weeks, Health and Human Services Secretary Mike Leavitt has been taking fire for a leaked draft regulation defining abortion as “any of the various procedures — including the prescription, dispensing and administration of any drug or the performance of any procedure or any other action — that results in the termination of life of a human being in utero between conception and natural birth, whether before or after implantation.” Before implantation, as you may guess, basically means birth control. (Source.)

     Abortion and contraception, again.
     Leavitt tried a sneaky move recently, trying to redefine abortion so that the definition could technically include birth control measures such as the Pill, too. Now, Leavitt claims that his intention was to provide regulation so that doctors who have some sort of disagreement with performing an abortion would be protected from having to do so, but the language of his proposal was so vague as to leave gigantic gaping loopholes. The problem with this is that these loopholes could eventually be used to deny funding to, say, your local health department, so they wouldn’t be able to afford to give women birth control for free or cheaply, as they do now.
     Providing free/cheap birth control is a vital service. Even when I had good insurance, I couldn’t really afford the thirty or more bucks a month it would have cost me to get birth control through a regular doctor’s office. But, I could afford to pay the six bucks a month the health department charged me. Without that, I’d have been left to rely on condoms and the various lotions, potions, and devices sold over the counter to prevent pregnancy. Either that, or abstain, and remember, I was married at the time. I kind of doubt the marriage would have lasted as long as it did if I hadn’t been putting out, and let me guarantee, if I’d thought I was risking getting knocked up, I wouldn’t have been putting out.
     The government has already gone out of its way to cut funding to health departments. What’s going to happen when women can’t get cheap birth control Pills? They sure aren’t going to stop screwing, I’ll guarantee that. They’ll just start getting pregnant a lot more often. And remember, we’re talking about low income women here, probably without fathers around to help foot the bill. That’s going to put more women and more children on more welfare and more social services, and end up costing us a fucking fortune.
     You can’t just say, “Sorry, no birth control for you!” and think that will somehow magically stop women from getting laid, and magically stop men from wandering off after having knocked said women up, and magically stop premarital sex. Ending free/cheap birth control will not turn the world into a happy fundie Christian paradise where everyone gets married and has a dozen kids and lives happily ever after. All it’s going to result in is more unwanted babies, raised by poor single mothers. Which, some statisticians say, will lead to a raise in crime rates, and will certainly lead to a lot of miserable kids who never learn any better, and grow up to repeat their mother’s and father’s mistakes.
     Women have a right to make their own decisions in this arena, and, in the long run, it will be cheaper and healthier for our society to keep providing free/cheap birth control.

     (Photo credit: The Pill.)

     s anyone else as miserably sick of the drama surrounding the VP picks as I am? I mean, good fuck, CNN went on about whoever it is Obama’s picking for so damn long, I gave up waiting for the announcement and switched it over to Food Network. And really, Barack — Joe Biden? Really? Everyone you had to pick from, and that’s the guy you’re going with? But, um, if I remember right, he’s kind of a wanna-be, with a bad case of foot-in-mouth disease. I mean, I guess he’s not a bad guy . . . but . . .
     Seems like you could have done better, is all I’m saying. Richardson, the governor, for example. Wesley Clark, to offset your lack of military experience. Just. Y’know. Joe Biden. Okay, then, I guess.
     Can’t wait to see who McCain picks. Maybe Methuselah.

• Thri-Kreen Erotica — This is the funniest thing I’ve read in months. By the time I got to the ending, I was literally laughing out loud. Fantastic!
• Deep Ones!?!
• “After Rapture” Petsitter — Seriously, I’m desperate to know how much money this person has made off this ad. ‘Cause, you know they made some.
• Hip-Hop Violin — Somehow, I doubt this is what the kid’s parents were thinking of when they got him the violin and lessons. It’s pretty freakin cool, though.

aptisms - MrJames

     Everything around Thunk seemed to flicker, and afterward, there was no sky.
     He was still standing in the same spot, but the Carnies, the wolf, the women, all were gone. The patrons, milling about in confusion, were gone. The afternoon sky was replaced with an endless black abyss, devoid of stars or clouds. In the distance, there were the sounds of battle, but here it was peaceful and quiet.
     He was close. He could feel it.
     Todd smiled, and began walking toward the sounds of violence. That’s where Todd would be. In the center of it, at the core. Todd would have come here, to the heart of the Carnival itself, and nothing would stand in his way.
     And nothing would stop Thunk, either.
     He heard a whimper, almost a sob, coming from a rickety trailer. There was no mark on it, no sign. Thunk paused. He was on a mission. How much time did he have? There came a moan, a man’s voice. How many choices did he have?
     Inside he found a little man in a brown robe, his hair growing in a fringe around a bald spot on the top of his head. His face was lined with age and hardship, and tears had cut runnels in the dust on his face. There was a transparent woman straddling him, her hands sunk into his chest. Even as Thunk watched, the woman grew faintly redder, somewhat more solid-looking. The little monk had a leather-bound book in one hand, and he swung it weakly at her - only to have it pass harmlessly through her head as though she were nothing more than a Shadow.
     Read The Rest >>

     pparently, Barack Obama’s campaign has had a secret, subliminal message this entire time.

     imp away, man, pimp away.

      love how they’re labeling John Edwards’ affair as a “sex scandal” all over the place. And they talk about in such lurid tones, as though something truly twisted has gone on. I’m baffled.
     Unless I’ve really missed something, and I wouldn’t put it by me, because I haven’t been paying that much attention, basically, a year or so ago, one of the gals working for John Edwards’ campaign doing political videos, hooked up with John Edwards, and they did the wild thing a few times. Or maybe several times. Possibly in some other position than the missionary position, but we aren’t sure, because they don’t seem to have taken any icky pictures that have been splashed all over the news, or made a sex tape or anything. It was just a decent-looking 50-year-old married man, and a very pretty 40-year-old woman, who happened to quietly hook up, and conduct a discreet little affair. Possibly there was an oops, which resulted in a pretty baby girl, but the woman, this Reille Hunter, doesn’t want to make a big uproar over it, and Edwards says no, not his.
     It’s all been very dignified, honestly, and I have to applaud the behavior of Edwards and Hunter so far. I mean, let’s contrast and compare, here. Bill Clinton hooks up with an intern in the Oval Office, and we get stories of BJs, fluid-stained dresses, and penetration with cigar cases. Clinton lies and denies and gets caught, and Lewinski goes on the talk circuit for a few months and tells all. Scandalous, and, frankly, trashy. There was that married male senator who’s name I can’t recall, a couple of years ago, who got caught diddling some of the male congressional pages, and we had to hear all about his icky IM conversations with these young men. Spitzer got caught nailing a call girl, and that had to be all over the news, including cover girl pictures of the prostitute. Larry Craig got caught and arrested for trying to hook up for anonymous gay sex in the public bathroom of a major airport, and made an ass of himself in the news denying his homosexuality/bisexuality. (Right. You were trying to get strange men to have sex with you in a bathroom, but you’re not gay. Sure.)
     By contrast, Edwards’ burst of poor judgment and bad behavior has been quite classy and well handled, and I kind of don’t see how it’s rating the big “Edwards Sex Scandal!!!1″ splashes all over CNN. I shit you not, on Friday, CNN covered the Edwards’ affair for six solid hours. I think they took a quick break for Wolfe Blitzer to briefly mention that Russia may have started some sort of little argument with Georgia, and there may have been a few shots fired or something like that, and then back to “OMG, Edwards is having sex!!!”
     Seriously, people. Isn’t it about time we got over this sexual fixation of ours? We aren’t Puritans. Lots of people are having sex. Plenty of people are having some very strange sex. In fact, I’m willing to bet that there may be people who are having sex while reading this post. (Wash the keyboard when you’re done, or the keys will get all sticky.) Sex happens. Politicians cheat on their wives/husbands. It doesn’t matter if they’re Democrats or Republicans, or if it’s gay or straight sex. It happens. Does it really need to be front page news? Especially when we’re fighting two wars, there’s a third getting started in Russia, and the Olympics are on. Don’t we have better things to be covering in the news? Really?
     I suppose, thinking it over, that these sorts of things should be mentioned. Republicans sneaking out to have gay sex makes news, because Republicans belong to the party which is vociferously going out of its way to oppress gay rights, and the hypocrisy should be pointed out. And, I suppose, we should know which of our politicians are adulterous, just because I — and I’m sure, plenty of others — don’t really want to vote for the kind of person who would cheat on their spouse. So, yes, it’s nice that the news mentions these things.
     But it doesn’t need to be a week-long media Mardi Gras, okay? It’s just not that interesting, and I have a hard time imagining that so many of us really care that much, that they need to kick up such a big stink about it. (Except for, possibly, Republicans and gay sex, because, again, oppression of a minority and the hypocrisy.)
     Meanwhile:

• Russians Open Second Front In Georgia — Russian soldiers plunged into Georgia today to open a second front in the two countries’ 4-day-old war, storming out of the Russia-backed breakaway republic of Abkhazia to seize control of a western army base.
• Russian Ultimatum — Russia issued an ultimatum to Georgia on Monday to disarm its troops along the boundary with the pro-Russian separatist enclave of Abkhazia as Russian tanks rolled across the border and occupied a military base in western Georgia.
• Diplomatic Efforts — Russian planes continued bombing raids on Georgia Monday, ignoring international appeals for the country to observe Georgia’s offer for a cease-fire. Russian leaders say Georgia has yet to fully honor the cease-fire, claiming that Georgian forces have continued to attack the breakaway province of South Ossetia’s capital, Tskinvali.
• Georgia Signs Peace-Fire, Russia Keeps Shooting — Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili says he has signed a European-backed cease-fire document aimed at halting fighting between Georgian and Russian forces.

     (Photo credit: John Edwards.)

     t has been well over a year since MrJames moved to Oregon. When MrJames lived with us, about every two or three months or so, he would whip up a batch of delicious salmon soup. I know, I know, many of you right now are going, “Eeew! Fish? In Soup?” but trust me, this stuff is the shit. If you like salmon, you like salmon soup.
     So, MrJames would concoct a cauldron-sized batch of yummy, delicious salmon soup, which we would proceed to devour in a week or less. It’s divine. And I hadn’t had any in over a year. It was killing me.
     I recently had a birthday, and it occurred to me that I should attempt to make a batch of salmon soup for myself, as a birthday treat. So, I consulted with MrJames on the particulars of the recipe, which isn’t difficult (and which I’m not giving away, because it’s a sacred secret recipe, much like my mother’s infamous sugar cookies), and proceeded to make salmon soup.
     I deviated slightly from the recipe to add some vegetable matter, just so I could convince myself I was having a well-rounded meal (corn and carrots, the two blandest veggies I could think of, so they wouldn’t affect the taste). The rice got away from me, as rice will do, and I ended up with a vat of salmon soup. Seriously, the soup damn near over-ran the pot. It was quite good. Not as good as MrJames’, but quite good. I was pleased.
     I checked on it this afternoon, thinking to have some for lunch, to discover that, overnight, the rice had drank up all of the broth, despite the fact that I pre-made the rice and let it soak up (I thought) all the liquid it would hold. So, beings as I was out of room in the original pot, I separated some of the ricey goodness into another pot, and added more milk. I now have two vat-sized cauldrons of salmon soup.
     I have no concept what I’m going to do with this stuff. I can pawn some off on my friends, and take some to work with me, but seriously, y’all, I could feed an army at this point. I hope this stuff freezes well, because there is no way I can eat all of this before it goes bad. I could be eating this batch of salmon soup for the rest of the year, and probably well into next year.
     In other news, I went to Wal-Mart last night — for soup ingredients, natch — and while there, found the niftiest thing. It was a vending machine for movie rentals. This must be new. It was, in fact, a RedBox. This is the coolest invention ever. It’s ingenious. Of course, I had to try it out. It’s pretty simple. You swipe your bank card or credit card, go through the touch screen menu to pick your movies, and the machine spits your movies out the side. It cost a buck a day a movie to rent movies, and you take them right back to the RedBox when you’re done, and stick them back into the side of the machine. RedBox charges your bank/credit card a dollar a day per movie until you bring them back. If you forget to return the movies, RedBox stops charging you after 25 days, and the movies are yours.
     This is brilliant. Neat, tidy, easy — I’m in love. I got Sweeney Todd and The Bucket List. Sweeney Todd was pretty good. I watched it last night while making soup. The singing got a bit tedious, but the story was good, and I liked the ending very much. The Bucket List is on deck for some time today.
     Speaking of movies, and other related media, have you seen anything about this?

     Threat Level reports that the MPAA now argues that it has the right to demand up to $150,000 in damages per illegally downloaded file, without having to proof that someone actually downloaded that file.
     Yes we know, this doesn’t make sense at all. Luckily, MPAA lawyer Marie van Uitert explains why copyright holders should be able to claim thousands of dollars without having to prove that a copyright infringement actually took place.

     Okay, MPAA, RIAA, all you anti-”pirate” people out there — Just stop it. Really. You lost. You can’t stop the pirates. (Yaaaarrr!) Unless your copyright protections include issuing a fully-functional Ed-209 with each and every CD and DVD, the pirates are just going to keep circumventing them (and frankly, they’ll probably figure a way around ED, too, and then you’ll have pirates with ED-209s running loose), and getting the music and the movies and the TV shows and whatever else there is to us, for free.
     And, in all seriousness, it’s not about the money. The days of paying the giant corporations exorbitant amounts of money for access to the artwork we enjoy is over. For example — let us assume, hypothetically, that there are a couple of TV shows I regularly torrent. (Of course, I would never torrent anything, as that would be illegal, and I’m a law-abiding citizen.) But for the sake of the example, let’s say there are. I would happily pay a small fee to download each episode of these shows to my computer. I have, in fact, used iTunes to do that very thing. But I am certainly not going to pay my cable company a ridiculous amount of money for entire channels and packages full of utter crap, just so I can watch the one or two shows that are worth a damn. I am happy to pay for a good product. I’m not dishing out a red cent to wade through shit, just to get to the small amount of good product. You know what that model is? That’s rewarding bad behavior, that’s what that is, and I won’t do it.
     As a matter of fact, if you’re a band, or a TV show, or a movie, or an artist of some sort, put up a damn website, and get a tip jar on that thing. If I like your work, I will happily come and pay you for it. Good work should be rewarded, and I’ll happily spend my hard-earned dollars to reward good work. I’ll be damned, however, if I’ll spend a dime on garbage, or to line the pockets of greedy corporate whores, if I can possibly prevent myself from doing so.
     Another thing to consider, especially concerning TV, and to a lesser extent, music and movies, do you know how much easier it would be, and how much more likely I’d be to spend my money on your product, if getting it was as easy as going to your website, giving you a buck or two, and downloading it to watch later, at my leisure? I’m not home for the majority of the TV I watch. I work nights. VCRs are a pain in the ass, TiVos are expensive, and I have to say, I really wasn’t impressed with my cable company’s “on-demand” service when I had it. If I could just wander over to your website when the fancy struck me and download an episode or two when I had a minute, I’d do that all the time.
     Much like the vending machine movie rentals up there, make it cheap and easy, and we’ll all start doing it, and you’ll make your money. Give us grief, and we’ll just say fuck it, and either steal it, or not participate at all. It’s pretty goddamn simple.

     (Photo credit: Jolly Roger.)